VAN LIFE IN A PANDEMIC IN THE UK

VAN LIFE IN A PANDEMIC IN THE UK

It appears to me that there are a few blogs and one or two outdated media articles about Life in A  Van in a pandemic. Ones I have found have been from people who are either in far flung places like the USA or Canada- or people who have not been full time and just eager to get back out adventuring. But what if you live in the UK and what if you are FULL TIME? Where is the information for that?

During the first lockdown Bart and I were living in a nice bungalow with a sea view. Although to see it you had to stand on the edge of the cooker on one leg and hold on tight. We were safe (unless we were standing with one leg on the cooker), we were warm and had the luxuries bricks and mortar affords. Bart was toddling off to work four days or nights a week to his really excellent job at the airport and I was sat at home knitting, cooking, whatever. Unphased mainly by lockdown, with Bart nipping to the supermarket on a Monday morning to top up supplies we had little to worry about until he lost his job. Still we had some money from his redundancy- all we had to do was hold tight, new jobs would be available and lockdown would be over and the world would be a happy place again. Right? Wrong. Time came and went, job opportunities were far and few between. Money also came and went, and went and went. So then the bungalow had to go and Bella, our van became our home.

We are not gypsies. We are not travellers by nature (day trippers perhaps), we are not dropouts and we are not scum. We are unlucky. Except we are not unlucky. Yes, that sounds contradictory. We lost but we gained. Some lost and still have no jobs, or nowhere to live. We do have a roof, four wheels and we can go anywhere we like. Except we can’t go anywhere we like. I know, more contradictions.

Of course we have to abide by the law. England is in lockdown. Travellers are being picked on more than usual. Now, if gypsies and travellers have campsites, or homes back in Ireland or wherever, they should be staying there. But if they haven’t local councils are supposed to ensure they have somewhere to stay un-disturbed- or at least have access to fresh water and sewerage etc.

Most van lifers are not affiliated with any such group but we still need access to the basic things we need- water, sewerage, gas etc.

When we first hit the road, just at the end of lockdown two, we were able to stay within our tier and travel, carefully around. Some campsites were open and two or three times a week we were able to hook up. In between we drove around from park up to park up with popping into a relative to get washing done, fresh water- a nice cooked meal. It took us a while to get used to all of it, and I suppose we are because things are changing all the time.

Then lockdown came and the ‘stay at home, essential travel’ only rule came in. The relatives we depend on for doing our laundry and refill of fresh water we are not supposed to visit. However, we do still need that support. And they need ours. We were shopping for my elderly vulnerable parents and we are still doing that. We were keeping an eye on my vulnerable sister and niece and we still do that.

We have not known where to go or where to stop since camp sites are closed. We rang some who were nothing short of rude and made it clear living in our van or not campsites were not the place to visit at this time. The rules state that campsites and hotels can stay open for people who do not have a permanent residence- but try to convince some of that. Plus January is the time most of them would close anyway for their break- to rest, to do essential work etc.

SO HOW DO WE DO IT? HOW DO YOU DO IT?

We have had one ‘pcso’s knock’ because of a ‘Karen’ and her noses inability to rust. We have been ‘locked in’ car park because Karen still cannot accept the pcso’s findings. The police, to be fair, have a job to do but they are understanding. They know people are living in their vans- we are staying at home. If your van is your only home, and you are staying in it- you are not breaking the law. Our essential travel consists of finding somewhere to park –but don’t travel outside of your area. Finding gas, fuel, fresh water, somewhere to do laundry, and somewhere to dump waste etc are all essential. If we are lucky, and we have been this week you can find someone who will let you park on their land for a contribution to water, electric etc.  Some farmers and some campsites are ace at this. Big shout out to them. However, this particular space is not right for us or our motorhome so we are off to seek pastures new.

Join facebook groups – sometimes people advertise a space on their land, their driveway etc. That is how we found this. Some very kind people will also note that you are living in your van and will offer you water, use of a machine to do your laundry etc. Not all people are Karens. Not all people are judgemental.

We have had some Paddington hard stares to contend with. To be fair I have this off to an art so I just do them back. We have had some shaking heads and people driving up so close to us whilst we are parked up- for whatever reason. Intimidation? Some people think the minute they see you in motor home you simply must be on holiday. Or you are the lead in the convoy of other travellers who will inevitably follow you into the car park. They panic, not because there is a pandemic, but because they can’t mind their own business. Also they can’t get their heads around you being ‘free’ whilst they are stuck at home. Or they would be stuck at home if they weren’t out staring at you and wondering what you are doing.

So what we have found to be useful of late in these troubled times whilst we are not supposed to leave home or travel except for essential travel is this;

STAY AWAY!

Stay away from beauty spots in the day. If you must sleep near one or in the middle of one, arrive very late and leave early. Catch up the sleep in the day! As soon as you are spotted in a beauty spot you can bet your life Karen will run off to the face book police- and sometimes to the real police.

Stay away from busy car parks unless you have to go there to shop. Prolonged periods draw attention to you.

Stay away from residential areas where you will stick out like a sore thumb. Try to park away from houses. If you must park up in a street- then shut your blinds and stay inside without much ado so you don’t draw attention to yourself.

 

DO STAY!

Do stay on someone’s land if you can. Ask on facebook groups- but not Karen’s- we have already established she hates you.

Do offer a contribution or labour if you can. Even farmers have to pay for electric and water. Support them if they sell local produce- it also saves you going to the shop.

Do stay in off road layby’s- down country lanes (but don’t get stuck!!). Please be sure you can get down and back out.

Do stay in car parks where you legitimately can and be prepared to let the police know if they ask you live in your van but you are not trekking about. But don’t arrive in daylight.

Do look for car parks with public loos- it will save you worrying about emptying your pit but always check the opening and closing times- this may be outside of your arrival and departure time. Check it out in daylight, use it, return to park later!

DON’T BE AFRAID!

Don’t be afraid to live your life the way you have to. And don’t be afraid to firmly tell Karen to stick her head up her backside and get back home where she should be. There is a lockdown on.

To use public loos to empty the loo where you can, suss out drains by the side of the road to empty grey waste. It is only washing up water after all- if you can throw it out into your garden at home without it being a problem- opening a tap and letting it go down a street drain won’t hurt. But do not do this with toilet waste.

TO ask for water at filling stations, relatives, friends to fill a couple of watering cans if nothing else. Buy drinking water in bottles where you can and at least keep a couple stored. We bought a ten litre water can that we keep clean and just for filling the tank. Mind you there isn’t a lot more you can you do- it’s not like you are going to go out and water your plant pots.

To Use bins in supermarkets or car parks to empty your rubbish. Don’t leave it festering in the van. Do use bin bags, plastic shopping bags to conceal your rubbish.

AND FINALLY, FINALLY NOT ONLY BUT ALSO:

Whatever your views on the pandemic, stay within the rules, Wash your hands and sing happy birthday even if it isn’t your birthday. Or anyone else’s. Or you can sing ‘Fever’. That’s my favourite in a pandemic. Or you could sing ‘Yellow Submarine’ if it floats your boat.

ALSO FINALLY, FINALLY NOT ONLY BUT ALSO:

Keep plenty of snacks on board (this should read hand gel- but snacks are better), and keep eating cake (this should also read hand gel- but cake is waaaay better). Also do not eat so much cake that you cannot get out of your van when lockdown is over. Or you can if whilst you are in your van you have a plan for making the door bigger!

Keep looking forward and keep trucking! We will all soon be on the road again.

 

 

 

 

 

NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.

WHY DID WE DECIDE TO PARK UP?

Before we began, I especially, spent hours upon hours, sometimes until the early hours of the morning poring over blogs and videos of Van Life. Van life in converted jobbies and motorhomes and even teeny little vans. I watched people in the UK and abroad. People living full time, part time and just weekend adventures. We knew our choice was only to go full time. The Virgin Mary said so. We knew we had to have a proper motor home. The Virgin Mary also said so- she said ‘Beth,  a porta potti in a tent will just not do for you to poo’. We watched all the videos of people enjoying sunsets and sunrises. Parked on mountains, parked by lakes and beaches with beautiful views. We watched them cosy in their vans and watched them make friends along the way. We watched them find park ups and I made notes on where to find them, how to find them. I was envious of those who made it to Europe for the winter and didn’t have to worry about park ups so much.

We watched all the practical stuff too. Important stuff. We watched the pros and the cons. We knew we would have to find places to empty the loo, fill up with fresh water, find gas and somewhere to hook up to charge devices etc. And we knew we would have to find places to empty our bins and do our laundry. It is incessant. Every day the loo needs emptying. Water needs replacing, gas needs keeping an eye on. You can’t wash clothes everyday so you need a strategy to store it until you can. You may have a shower in your van but you must have plenty of water and either gas or hook up to heat said water. Then you have to be mighty quick. Our shower tank has 10L of hot water. You have to shower like lightening. We have been careful though and I have concluded I must either do my hair or myself- not both. Bart is ok- he doesn’t really have any hair. Then there is cooking- we have a good full size cooker but no proper worktop, the van gets very hot very quick and dinner is a little bit slower than in your kitchen at home. But we have still had a meal every day. The fridge is only small so we can only store two or three days food at a time and then we have to keep it fresh. We have thrown so much food away because it has deteriorated so quickly. However, snacks are always fresh!!

SO WHY did we park up?

Firstly and mainly because of the 3^rd lockdown. We tried to keep going and legit. We were staying ‘at home’, we didn’t travel as such. Just kept going round in a circle dragging from known and safe park up to known and safe park. We shopped in the day and checked on vulnerable relatives. There we were lucky that in return they would supply a hot meal, fresh water, electric charging and clean clothes. Not their clothes you understand. Ours. The crunch came when we were in a good park up. Well I am not afraid to say where. It was Culverhayes Car Park in the town of Sherborne- five miles from the relatives we were looking after. We parked there many times over night. It was allowed, 24 hours parking. Motorhomes as well. It actually says so on the parking board. Never any problems, apart from boy racers one night. T*ats. But the last time was challenging. We pulled up, a woman walked across the car park. She eyed us up- and even smiled. ‘Nice Lady’ I thought. We carried on with our getting the van ready and Bart popped across to the shop for a pizza for me to cook. The last time we stayed he popped into the town to buy a new cleaner for the van- a costly little item. As we settled into the evening we had that first dreaded knock- it was a pcso who asked what we were doing- only Karen had taken it upon herself to decide we were holidaying- not only in their car park but during national lockdown. We explained what we were doing and he was very happy and off he trot giving the advice not to travel. The next morning we awoke to find the car park barriers had been brought down and locked, thus preventing our leaving- or so they thought. As we drove away I realised to get the barriers brought down, a freezing Saturday night during lockdown requires not a little pcso but someone at the council. A quick google brought up the picture of the woman, who not only sits on Sherborne Town Council but was the very one who clocked us when we pulled up and smiled. Not only but also it transpired she is in charge of Transport etc. I wouldn’t want to cast aspergers on anyone but yup- I am 99% she was the miserable culprit who called the police and got some poor bugger to come out and lock us in. Judgemental and petty minded who for some strange reason thought the best thing to do was to stop us leaving- or worse still panic because she thought half a dozen more were behind us. Mrs- I am telling you now- we will be back. And we may just bring our friends.

Another beautiful location, quiet and disused location we were also subject to many intimidating stares and shaking heads as we sat quietly minding our business- although no one dared to ask. They just judged quietly. They assumed. But they made us feel as though we had done something so very wrong. When in fact we hadn’t. We don’t go and sit outside of their homes, looking through windows, tutting and shaking heads and assuming. I bet there’s plenty going on behind closed doors that would make us do that.

We started to become ‘decision fatigued’, a term used by people who live in vans- where to go, where to park. This is harder during lockdown because we are limited so much. Campsites are closed and although they are allowed to be open for people living in vans- they don’t want the hassle. Plus January they close generally anyway. Fortunately we have found a wonderful kind lady who had a space for us and was happy to take us in.

I am happy to say that not all people in Dorset and Somerset are a**eholes. Most are lovely. Most do not care or judge. One really lovely farmer even came and found us one night and guided us into his farm to park for the night. But we do think there is an element of ‘how come you can be out in your motor home, on holiday, travelling around etc, when we have to stay indoors’. To these, I say, ‘When the Virgin Mary appears and tells you to pack up and buy your van- then it is your turn. Equally when the pandemic has washed your life away- then you too will have the opportunity to start a new life- you may have to’. And remember this, Karma is a kick ass bitch, and when she kicks she kicks. So if you are being overly judgemental, jealous, or just a complete a**ehole about what someone else is doing (which quite frankly isn’t your business)- Karma will kick your arse so hard you won’t stop travelling until the middle of next week. And I shall wave as you go past.

 

LOOS, POOS AND VIEWS

TRAVELLING IN OUR SLIPPERS- 7 WEEKS IN.

If it seems like it is many weeks since the last blog- well that’s because it is. It’s not you, it is definitely me. I think we are now in our 7^th week of living life on the road. Or not as the case maybe because the world has gone to pot. Well actually It has gone to hell in a handcart and I am wondering if we are ever going to get going and actually live on the damn road. So far we have just dragged round in circles from car park to car park. However, the best thing about all this travelling or not travelling is that I am doing it from the comfort of my slippers. Or maybe they are not as comfortable actually as they look. They are just so freakin warm. I would say that warm slippers are essential. I wear them all the time even when we are travelling. If I were driving, of course I would take them off. But I am not. I do take them off if I am going into the supermarket or for a stroll. I am not a complete slovenly bitch by any means. However, I do not always don an over shoulder boulder holder because basically I can’t be arsed. Being warm is essential so my long dress jumper with the muff at the front- well how else do you wear your muff?- and leggings. Warm socks and tights and sometimes leg warmers- obviously it is a bit of bugger when you limbo sideways into the onboard loo and have to do the Paso double with it all to get it down and back up. Of course we have a nice little fire, it is both gas and electric but only good on electric if we hook up- so we do our best to conserve the gas. If we can possibly, in the day time, get away with just wrapping up a bit warmer then, we do.

We are now tucked up on a little campsite come farm. A nice lady with a cock and some chickens and goats, took pity on us and let us have a space on her land because lockdown is making life hard to travel- and it looks like it is going to be like this for some time to come. At least until the end of March. Very disconcerting but I am sure we will leave base regularly to shop and sneak past a gorgeous view or two. Not that we don’t have gorgeous views- we do. Over the hills and far away. We have a loo with a view and I can wave at my friend across the way whilst having a poo. The joys of living in a van.But we are nicely tucked up for a small fee for electric and water. And why we chose this will appear in the next blog. Which I may write today or I may not. You can never tell with me!

GETTING THERE- THE FIRST FORTNIGHT...........................MUSH, MUFF AND POOS.

LESSONS LEARNED ALREADY!

I don’t want to bore anyone with the details of the transition from cosy bungalow with central heating, hot water, nice shower and flushing loo to cosy motor home with choice of three types of heating- electric, gas or extra clothes. You could include jumping up and down and hot water bottles if you want to be pedantic. We do have hot water, shower is a bit meh- some days you wash your hair and your body, some days you wash your hair sort of. More often than that you settle for mush and muff wash. We do have a flushing loo but we know it takes just 17 litres of the whole shit and shebang to be full. Mr Husband, Bart, prefers posh poos on posh loos and seeks out every opportunity for just such a job. Me? Well I have little choice with the angry bowel I have. But let’s not go there today. That doesn’t mean I will another day either. But two weeks in, after struggling to wipe me arse in a tiny space I have worked out that if I swivel the loo to an angle I have more room- even more if I open the door under the sink! The shower and the loo was designed for skinny bitches with tiny pert bottoms. Not cake shaped menopausal 50 something’s with dodgy hips and knees. The shower takes some kind of upright limbo to navigate and woe betide you should be lucky enough to do a full turn abut shimmy and turn your back on the shower because it is then your arse hits the on/off handle and you find yourself without water. Then you have to endure cold water before it reaches the scalding stage. I am beginning to prefer the mush and muff method.

So with all our ‘stuff’ in two storage units (it was just that little bit too much) and my little car Bob parked up for an extortionate rate alongside another unit, and Mr Husbands car with his new found keeper, we are now fully living in Bella.

We spent the first night on the drive of the old place. I know, little adventurers us. We still had the keys, access to the bath and the shower and free parking! Wey hey!. Then the first, first night, the first proper night we ventured all of a mile or two at the most to the estuary. We are familiar with the estuary- we have sat there with many a fish and chip supper watching the tide come and go, the Canadian geese and the water sports. Because locals made so much fuss at one point motor homes are only allowed between 8am and 10pm, although you can still pay for 24 hours. However, it’s quiet and dark. It’s December in the middle of a pandemic- who is going to stop a galloping horse to investigate? Nobody, probably. We have had a couple of nights there now, the second was a bit more testing because it was windy and raining and the van rocked from side to side. LESSON 1 in parking up- check the weather- check your location-don’t park at the estuary on wet and windy night.

We have spent a couple of nights a little further from home- at a picnic area- no overnight camping or staying but it’s always jammed solid with a mixture of motor homes and lorries. The lorries think they own it. Well, the drivers of said lorries- I don’t think lorries think much at all. The second time we parked there we got wedged in between two juggernauts, the second squeezed in into the space in front of us and kept getting so close to Bella our hearts and stomachs and everything else besides were in our mouth. LESSON 2- Leave enough room in front to ‘escape’ but not enough for a lorry to squeeze into. Oh and don’t park too close to the main road- it is way too noisy.

We decided we needed a hook up- that’s a hook up not a hooker. We joined the camping and motor home club or something so we chose a place out of there because by then we had ventured to Dorset. We were getting braver now. It said it was working farm- although to be fair we didn’t see much evidence of that and not a cow anywhere. The camp site was their garden- their lawned garden and too muddy really. Not much bigger than your average suburban garden at that. We asked for hard standing and ended up on a bit of gravel standing just big enough for Bella- it was however just in the yard in the middle of the farming equipment and we hooked up over the fence of the ‘camping site/ come back garden’. Our hose didn’t reach the water and poor Mr Husband, Bart spent over an hour filling his water barrel and trying to empty it into Bella. He was freezing poor little love. I tried to help but I am not much help with this shit to be honest. They had a loo and a place to do laundry but it was out of order. So Mr Husband had to wait to do his posh poo until the next day. We had booked two nights here but only stayed one. LESSON 3- don’t book more than one night at a time if you can possibly help it- certainly don’t pay up front – until you have checked it out, and checked ALL the facilities will work for you. An additional sneaky lesson here for us was MAKE SURE you have a selection of hose fittings and a long enough hose. 10m is not enough. Who knew?

The next two nights we picked another site from our book. A delightful place in Bridport called Bide Yer. We had everything easily accessible- even an outdoor loo in a shed for posh poos for Bert. He was chuffed. We had nice views and we slept lovely- we rested a bit. This will be on our go to list.

Then it has to be said, we longed for a bath, and we longed for a hot shower. A proper hot shower with all the trimmings. So we booked into a travel lodge. The bath was nice if you are a midget but it was nice to sit in some hot water. We took full advantage of posh poos and hot showers and all the trimmings. The bed was hard though and the first morning we woke up and we longed to be back in Bella. We swung by our daughters house and she did three loads of washing and got it all dry. My little star.

We have had some tense moments of jumping up at stupid o’clock to move – we have figured having the bed made up to jump into when we park for the night and to move before we make tea and coffee is essential on most park ups. Don’t hang around all day in the place you intend to sleep- unless you have booked into a campsite of course. They let you stay all day. Move if it is only down the road. We have been soooo exhausted at times. We have woken early, not slept properly. I fret so I have done lots of fretting and some. Then for an encore- yes you guessed it – I fretted. To the outside world I am full of positivity, sensibility and a little bit of shit and giggles. But trust me, there is more to me- there is the anxious me, the fretter, the worrier. Bart is great- he balances me! Hoorah for Barrt.

I write this from a gorgeous location in the woods a campsite in Rattery in Devon called Ashbourne Woods. It has posh loos, showers that sort of shower you provided you can master keeping your hand on the knob to keep the shower running and using the other to extract shower gel and shampoo from your bottles and washing yourself as well. But today we have clean hair and stuff. There is an onsite laundry room, kitchen with fridge, freezers, kettles toasters and a vending machine with drinks and chocolate. We booked two nights and have a booked a third. It is my happy place. I could break the tradition and live here!