NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.

WHY DID WE DECIDE TO PARK UP?

Before we began, I especially, spent hours upon hours, sometimes until the early hours of the morning poring over blogs and videos of Van Life. Van life in converted jobbies and motorhomes and even teeny little vans. I watched people in the UK and abroad. People living full time, part time and just weekend adventures. We knew our choice was only to go full time. The Virgin Mary said so. We knew we had to have a proper motor home. The Virgin Mary also said so- she said ‘Beth,  a porta potti in a tent will just not do for you to poo’. We watched all the videos of people enjoying sunsets and sunrises. Parked on mountains, parked by lakes and beaches with beautiful views. We watched them cosy in their vans and watched them make friends along the way. We watched them find park ups and I made notes on where to find them, how to find them. I was envious of those who made it to Europe for the winter and didn’t have to worry about park ups so much.

We watched all the practical stuff too. Important stuff. We watched the pros and the cons. We knew we would have to find places to empty the loo, fill up with fresh water, find gas and somewhere to hook up to charge devices etc. And we knew we would have to find places to empty our bins and do our laundry. It is incessant. Every day the loo needs emptying. Water needs replacing, gas needs keeping an eye on. You can’t wash clothes everyday so you need a strategy to store it until you can. You may have a shower in your van but you must have plenty of water and either gas or hook up to heat said water. Then you have to be mighty quick. Our shower tank has 10L of hot water. You have to shower like lightening. We have been careful though and I have concluded I must either do my hair or myself- not both. Bart is ok- he doesn’t really have any hair. Then there is cooking- we have a good full size cooker but no proper worktop, the van gets very hot very quick and dinner is a little bit slower than in your kitchen at home. But we have still had a meal every day. The fridge is only small so we can only store two or three days food at a time and then we have to keep it fresh. We have thrown so much food away because it has deteriorated so quickly. However, snacks are always fresh!!

SO WHY did we park up?

Firstly and mainly because of the 3^rd lockdown. We tried to keep going and legit. We were staying ‘at home’, we didn’t travel as such. Just kept going round in a circle dragging from known and safe park up to known and safe park. We shopped in the day and checked on vulnerable relatives. There we were lucky that in return they would supply a hot meal, fresh water, electric charging and clean clothes. Not their clothes you understand. Ours. The crunch came when we were in a good park up. Well I am not afraid to say where. It was Culverhayes Car Park in the town of Sherborne- five miles from the relatives we were looking after. We parked there many times over night. It was allowed, 24 hours parking. Motorhomes as well. It actually says so on the parking board. Never any problems, apart from boy racers one night. T*ats. But the last time was challenging. We pulled up, a woman walked across the car park. She eyed us up- and even smiled. ‘Nice Lady’ I thought. We carried on with our getting the van ready and Bart popped across to the shop for a pizza for me to cook. The last time we stayed he popped into the town to buy a new cleaner for the van- a costly little item. As we settled into the evening we had that first dreaded knock- it was a pcso who asked what we were doing- only Karen had taken it upon herself to decide we were holidaying- not only in their car park but during national lockdown. We explained what we were doing and he was very happy and off he trot giving the advice not to travel. The next morning we awoke to find the car park barriers had been brought down and locked, thus preventing our leaving- or so they thought. As we drove away I realised to get the barriers brought down, a freezing Saturday night during lockdown requires not a little pcso but someone at the council. A quick google brought up the picture of the woman, who not only sits on Sherborne Town Council but was the very one who clocked us when we pulled up and smiled. Not only but also it transpired she is in charge of Transport etc. I wouldn’t want to cast aspergers on anyone but yup- I am 99% she was the miserable culprit who called the police and got some poor bugger to come out and lock us in. Judgemental and petty minded who for some strange reason thought the best thing to do was to stop us leaving- or worse still panic because she thought half a dozen more were behind us. Mrs- I am telling you now- we will be back. And we may just bring our friends.

Another beautiful location, quiet and disused location we were also subject to many intimidating stares and shaking heads as we sat quietly minding our business- although no one dared to ask. They just judged quietly. They assumed. But they made us feel as though we had done something so very wrong. When in fact we hadn’t. We don’t go and sit outside of their homes, looking through windows, tutting and shaking heads and assuming. I bet there’s plenty going on behind closed doors that would make us do that.

We started to become ‘decision fatigued’, a term used by people who live in vans- where to go, where to park. This is harder during lockdown because we are limited so much. Campsites are closed and although they are allowed to be open for people living in vans- they don’t want the hassle. Plus January they close generally anyway. Fortunately we have found a wonderful kind lady who had a space for us and was happy to take us in.

I am happy to say that not all people in Dorset and Somerset are a**eholes. Most are lovely. Most do not care or judge. One really lovely farmer even came and found us one night and guided us into his farm to park for the night. But we do think there is an element of ‘how come you can be out in your motor home, on holiday, travelling around etc, when we have to stay indoors’. To these, I say, ‘When the Virgin Mary appears and tells you to pack up and buy your van- then it is your turn. Equally when the pandemic has washed your life away- then you too will have the opportunity to start a new life- you may have to’. And remember this, Karma is a kick ass bitch, and when she kicks she kicks. So if you are being overly judgemental, jealous, or just a complete a**ehole about what someone else is doing (which quite frankly isn’t your business)- Karma will kick your arse so hard you won’t stop travelling until the middle of next week. And I shall wave as you go past.