Getting There!

 Welcome to the world of Bart, Beth, Bella and Elvis.

How did we come to this? Did we suddenly have a flash of inspiration? Did the Virgin Mary's very own angel appear in the middle of the night with a message -'You have been chosen to buy a motorhome and go travel the globe'- or did we just get fed up of feeding fat lazy greedy landlords vast sums of money for basically nothing along with big corporations ripping us off for all kinds of money? Well, No- none of those, although the later has weighed on my mind for many years. So what was it?

Well I will tell thee- It was Bart losing his job during the pandemic. We thought ok, we can ride this- there are people less fortunate. Turns out, in no time flat, we join those people. We truly are all one paycheck away from homelessness. We can no longer afford to pay a fat, lazy greedy landlord, or even a thin hardworking one. Nope. Nor can we afford to pay those corporations vast sums of money for nothing, or indeed something that is priced way over it's worth. We have done our best and we have paid and paid and now nothing is left. Bart can't get a job because basically at nearly 60 you are apparently too old, washed up and spent out. Unless you ask the government for money and then you simply must find a job, any job and work til you drop. 

We had a plan A and a plan B- in fact we developed a plan for just about every letter of the alphabet. We even had a tent under a bridge way down the alphabet- but I read that a man got mauled to death in his tent recently. I thought 'nope, tent life isn't for me'. Bart pointed out that we don't have polar bears in England but why take the chance I say.

Getting panicky we cashed in the pension and bought Bella, our new home. A 2004 Autotrail Cheyenne with a good MOT history and low mileage. We thought long and hard about what kind of home Bella should be and we watched all the YouTube channels going. We made a list of all the things we expected from a home on the road and decided she should have a spacious enough bathroom- toilet and shower- for two cake shaped persons. Us. Two double beds because we are not used to sleeping together. She needed to have a fridge and a cooker and a garage- I have decided Bart can sleep in here if he gives me or Bella any trouble. We would have like a nice big American R.V. or Winnibago llike you see on the telly but Bart thinks this would be too much insure. Plus parking in the UK is a nightmare. Oh yes and then there is the small problem of money. Who got that kinda money?

If you are wondering who Elvis is I tell thee- it is THE Elvis. He currently comes on all my adventures in my little convertible car BOB- we go topless on adventures and we sing our hearts out. Sometimes Elvis and Bob say 'put your foot down Beth- lets enjoy this' And we do. I bet you thought Elvis was our little dog. Alas we do not have a dog called Elvis. We do not have a dog. Or a cat. Or a budgie. But I do have some fish. They are frozen and covered with batter and reside in the freezer. Bert isn't keen on pets- well it's not so much the pets as the cost and the hassle. The comittment. Bart likes to think about comittments so long and hard that the moment usually passes in a decade or so. Bart is allowing me to have a pet bed though. I can attach a peice of string and take it for a walk as many times a day as I like. 

 Anyway, I do tend to ramble. We now have Bella situated on the drive. We have given notice to the landlord. We are in lockdown 2 but you are allowed to move home. However, we may find travel tricky. Very tricky indeedy. Still hopefully by the time we have the house emptied then we will be free to move a bit and our adventures shall begin.

Selling all our possessions has not been easy and been very half hearted. Firstly the pandemic is making getting rid of stuff harder- people are in lockdown for one thing and charity shops are closed. The tip remains open but you don't want to dump really good stuff. We have a storage unit with limited room and there is the chance we don't take to travelling on the gravel road and we need to go back and find somewhere that consists of bricks and mortar so keeping some things are a good idea. If we take to 'van life' like ducks to water then we can reconsider all the stuff in the unit.

We know we shall find it tough. My biggest fear is not being able to get the loo emptied every two days especially given most camp sites are now closed for the winter months. But have no fear, I bought a second cassette and now we can travel with our shit anywhere. Even comes with a spare loo seat. Bonus.

We know it will be cold. Freezing some days no doubt but it has a nice heater and if we can 'hook up' somewhere to electic sometimes we can heat up easier. Our LPG will be a precious resource. 

I did start taking some things out to Bella and started to furnish her but I quickly concluded we may need two Bella's. I suggested this to Bart who said 'Or you could look again at what you are bringing and maybe some of it could go into the storage unit'. So I locked Bart into the Storage unit. Sorted.

So we are two weeks or so from moving into Bella, Still quite a lot to do here including the garden and the selling of the cars and some furniture but I feel the universe is saying 'this is for you, it's time to have that adventure you always wanted when Bart retires'. With that in mind I am sure the universe will make it all come good in good time.- 

Today Bart is on top of Bella fitting solar panels and he has ordered the new LPG bottles so we can fill up at petrol stations (if you are reading this in America you will note that you call them gas stations). I should be packing but I am writing this. A nice man has come to the house to fit fibre band optics or something for the house next door. He needed to go into our garden - I thought 'nice man, might keep him- so locked him into the garage already'.  

So I am going to finish this blog now and I am going to get some more tea- it keeps us going. And I will update again when we have a bit more done.

Please join us on our adventures. We would love to have you along with us on the gravel road to see how we are coping and where we are going. We hope you will enjoy waking up to glorious sunrises and sleeping to gorgeous sunsets and making love under the stars! That's just me and Colin Firth though you understand.

So long, til next time....................................